Phoenix Lament

“Sister! Sister!”

Celestia stopped along the hallway, allowing her young sister to catch up to her.

“Why Luna, what ever has put such a spring in your step my dear sister, it must be exciting.”

“It is; I can’t believe you of all ponies forgot! Didn’t you know that today is the day of the annual Solar Flare?”

Celestia froze, a look of sadness washing over her face as the words sunk in. The look was did not go unnoticed by Luna, who had seen it before. “Tia? Is something wrong?”

Celestia composed herself, blinking the tear out of her eye as she started to walk past. “No Luna, I’m fine.”

She barley made it past before the younger alicorn stopped her, holding her still and fixing her with a serious look. “Tia, I know you, and I have seen that look before. You get like this every time the Solar Flare arrives, but you never tell me why.”

“Its not…”

“NO!” shouted Luna, stamping her hooves in frustration. “You’re not avoiding me this time Tia, now tell me why this day hurts you so!”

Celestia knew from the look in her sister’s eyes that she would not be deterred, and sighed before shaking her head. “Fine” she said dejectedly, turning to head back to her cambers, the younger alicorn following suit. After they reached Celestia’s chambers, Celestia closed and locked the door, going over to the bed and then turning toward her sister.

“Luna, I must have you word that what I tell you will never leave this room, it is…a very personal matter I do not wish others to know about.”

Luna nodded. “Cross my heart, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye,” she said, going through all the motions.

Celestia nodded, then sat down along with her sister, staring up at the sun as it slowly rose in the sky.

“It all started 300 years before your banishment…”

* * *

“Have you finished your studies my faithful student?”

“Just about Celestia, I just got this last page to wrap up, and then I promise to get up and go with you.”

Celestia smiled down at the Pegasus mare, bumping her playfully with her wing before walking out to the balcony to wait. She knew her student would finish soon, but sometimes it worried Celestia how dutiful her student was in her studies, even going so far to ignore the sickness that wracked her body. Her student had been with a very rare magical disease called solar sickness, which caused the victim to react like a vampony when exposed to sunlight. With the use of certain herbs, the pony in question could live a relatively comfortable life in the sunlight, but would still experience some discomfort from long term exposure.

“Done,” said the voice of her pupil, and Celestia smiled as she watched the red coated mare walk up beside her. “So” she asked, “where are we going?”

Celestia giggled, spreading her wings along with the mare and leaping off the balcony. “You’ll see,” she called, leading the way over the valleys as the sun rose slowly over the horizon. After about an hours travel, they reached a small cliff that Celestia landed upon, who quickly made room for the mare who landed by her side.

“Wow, this view is amazing, but…why are we here exactly?”

“I know how much of your study time has been devoted to the annual Solar Flare, at it just so happens that today is the day for that particular event, so I thought you deserved a good front row seat.”

The young mare turned around, her face a look of pure joy as she stared at the regal monarch. “Really, you did this for me!”

“Only the best for my prized pupil,” said Celestia, accepting the crushing hug the mare gave her.

“Thank you, and what have I told you about using my name Celestia, I know you know it.”

Celestia giggled and hugged the mare closer, not even daring to utter the mares name. “Sorry dear, old habits die hard.”

The mare giggled, pulling away and turning to watch the sunrise.

Celestia watched the mare closely, breathing in a deep sigh as she took in her beauty. Celestia had once thought she was above such feelings as the ones she was feeling now, but ever since this mare had entered her life, she had been feeling many such feelings.

“Come on Celestia," she thought, "you can do this, this is your moment, this is your day.”

“…My faith…”

“Celestia-” asked the mare, catching her off guard. “-there’s something I need to tell you, before the solar flare happens.”

“What is it?”

The mare seemed to fidget, as if she didn’t want to talk. “Do you…do you know of the old mares tale about Solar Sickness?”

Celestia looked confused, but nodded her head. “Yes, there used to be a tale that the only cure for Solar Sickness was-” Celestia stopped, her eyes locking onto the mare before her as realization dawned on her. “-No…you…you didn’t…?”

The mare nodded, “I didn’t take my medicine this morning, I…I knew what today was…I just didn’t expect…”

“No! No I can’t let you do this!” Said Celestia in a panic, already seeing parts of the mare’s skin and coat begin to darken due to the suns rays. “We’ll go back to the palace, well get your medicine and…”

“Celestia stop!”

Celestia turned back to the mare, noting the stern look in her students face as she gazed upon her teacher. “Celestia, I want this, I have been planning this ever since I was young. I live in constant agony, and this is my one chance to end it, for better or for worse…so please, let me do this.”

The mare started to back away from Celestia, heading toward the cliffs edge. She started to turn, but stopped as Celestia yelled.

“I CAN’T WATCH YOU DIE PHILOMENA!”

Philomena turned back toward Celestia, hey yellow eyes locking with Celestia’s strawberries colored ones. Philomena saw it all in her mentors eyes, in the way she breathed, in the way she stared and begged with her eyes.

“I can’t watch you die…I…”

“I’m sorry,” said Philomena, who took one more step and then dropped of the cliff edge.

Celestia ran to the edge as the sun flared, but could only watch as her body burned and turned to ash. She screamed, crying out in rage at how powerless she felt in that moment, only stopping when she spotted a flame from the flare coming down from the sky. She watched as it intercepted Philomena’s ashes, and her eyes widened in amazement as a full grown Phoenix burst from the ashes, flapping its wings and flying back up to the top of the cliff.

“Philomena!” Celestia cried, catching the bird’s attention and letting her land on her outstretched wing. “I thought I lost you,” she said, rubbing her face against the birds before looking her back in the eyes.

But she didn’t find what she expected. There was no childlike wonder, no fire for knowledge that had always burned in those eyes before. No, instead there was only simple recognition. “Ph…Philomena,” she asked, tears building in her eyes as the bird just cocked her head in curiosity. Her legs gave, and Celestia fell to the ground, sobbing as Philomena repositioned herself on her back, watching as she choked out her last words before passing out.

“Good…Goodbye…my love…”

* * *

Luna just stared at her sister, tears falling down her face as Celestia finished her tale.

“After that she was never the same, it was her in soul, but everything that had made her Philomena, her quirks and her personality had been striped away, changing her into the Phoenix you know so well. In some ways I am happy things happened the way they did…but…but it still hurts, every time I have to live past this day and remember what I lost…and what I never told her…”

Luna got up and hugged her big sister, holding her close. She let Celestia cry on her shoulder, rubbing her back to sooth her sorrow. “Its ok sister, from what you said she would be happier this way.”

“I know…it still feels wrong, her trading her life for…for what she has now…”

Celestia got up, wiping her eyes as she walked away. But when she reached the door she heard Luna clear her throat.

“I have to ask sister, did this have any influence on your decision to make Twilight an alicorn.

“…yes,” she said, and then left out the door.

* * *

Celestia flew back to the Cliffside, watching the sun rise higher as it reached the point where it would release the flare. She laid herself down on the ground, smiling sadly as she felt the familiar claws of her old friend. She didn’t look up, but simply watched with the phoenix as the solar flare erupted forth, bathing the sky in beautiful fiery light on thought raced through Celestia‘s mind.

“I promise my love, I don’t care what it takes, but some day I will bring you back…I promise…”